An unapologetic goodbye to the first person who broke my heart

I will always love you no matter what, no matter how things go, no matter where life takes me – I have come to realize that some people can remain in the heart but not in our lives. It is better this way. That in my seclusion and emptiness I can take you out from my heart and reconstruct you into the present reality.

I can recall my childhood; growing up with you yet deleting the painful memories and the way you hurt me. I can find solace knowing that the world is a horrible place to be alone and unguided but that there was a time when you sheltered me from it.

I will always miss holding your hand while walking down the street or waiting for you to finish your prayers while observing you keenly as you trembled asking who-knows-what in your duas. I will miss the slurping sound you used to make while eating ice cream. I will miss when you deliberately used to make fun of me to get me mad so you could tell me how much you loved me. I will miss you sitting beside me while I slept, just watching me breathe.

I will miss how much you loved me but I cannot ignore the pain you put me through. Your love can never be forgotten but that never justifies the cracks you hammered inside of me.

August, 5th, 2014

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