A year ago, I was questioning my self if things would change now that my sister was married to a complete stranger to me. Someone that I don’t know. I was afraid if I’d see her again like I used to. I was afraid of losing her, but more than that I was afraid if everything was going to be alright. I know that a married couple is supposed to last forever but with all sorts of things happening in the world, there were all sort of doubts plaguing my mind.
But sometimes, life takes an unexpected turn. I’ve hardly seen someone as happy as my sister and I’m proud to say that I’ve got the best brother-in-law. Seeing them together makes me so happy. They have shown me infinite compassion and are the true definition of what it means to be a family.
Wishing both of them everlasting happiness and praying that all their wishes come true.
You, me, everything that this world has: the trees, the cotton candy clouds, the little specks of dust that sparkle in the sunlight hitting your face; the wind that always messes up your hair on the day of an important presentation, the rain that drenches you on a lonely bus stop when no taxi would stop to apologize for the puddles of water they have just revved on their way through, messing up your new cashmere trousers; is not going to last forever. This is the law of the universe. Temporary people, temporary feelings, temporary weather, temporary happiness, temporary fulfillment, temporary contentment, temporary love, temporary promises, dreams, friends, family members – – – temporary life. Nothing about our reality is permanent. And I specifically termed reality not life because life is just one of the only realities that we experience and we as humans get to experience ONLY this reality and none other than this. And in this cyclone of temporary nothing is worth permanence.
It’s been a month would you believe
30 days and some more never less
But it hasn’t been a day yet
When I don’t miss your voice
Or have forgotten your smile
I stopped folding up my blanket now
The pillowcases are all that I change
Even after a day’s gone by
Your memories aren’t dry
I scribble out your name on paper chits
I draw tiny alphabets in the sand
Plans of strolling in the park
sitting by a lake kicking a pile of rusty leaves all went down the drain
How does one forget love?
What does it mean to move on?
I never understood what she meant then
When Cher sang that song.
I want to text you I miss you
I want to cry it out loud
Just one more day, I tell myself
And paint another lie
I’ve skipped gym, work and class
Tomorrow, I say, I’ll go for sure
My teachers know better the pain of heartbreak stays
I drive slowly now, no sad songs at all
I don’t like the wind anymore, empty chalkboards, vacant halls
I kill the WiFi before I click your name
So you don’t get to know how many times I press call
I text you about how my day went and how much I miss seeing you smile
I pray my nights away for sunshine in your life
And when it’s almost dawn
And I’ve exhausted my eyes away
I delete the chat hit back and pretend everything’s okay
I crawl into my skin again and fake a happy me
I tell myself I’m not your happy even if you are mine
And happy is all I’ve ever wanted for us to be every single time
I can’t rhyme it now for you to see
But you’re only happy without me
So I let your anger sink in as it turns my heart to stone
And I let your words poison my mind into a shit storm
I close my eyes knowing that you don’t smile at my name
But the tears that hug my pillow now whisper only your name.